Oh, the balancing act of leadership – walking a tightrope while everyone you work with pokes, prods, niggles, and distracts – often with the best of intentions.
Calls from board members who want to expand nationally, followed by calls from board members who are anxious about mission creep
Donors who want you to “try something new” for a $25k grant when the new initiative that aligns with their priorities, not yours, will cost you $50k, if you’re lucky.
Staff who tell you “that’s not the way we do things – that’s not our process” when you’re the person who created the process and knows it’s outdated and needs to change.
In all of these interactions, you face another of leadership’s balancing acts – meeting expectations vs. setting expectations. Everyone in the network who drives your work in some way – staff, communities, board members, donors, members – sees the balance a little differently, leaving you to bring everyone along to some common and ever-evolving understanding of the mission, vision, and strategy.
Meeting expectations grows out of listening – gathering input and feedback from everyone in the network and then working to improve (or change) to show the organization is responsive to the feedback it hears.
Setting expectations grows out of the need for clarity – what that network needs to know about how to work with the organization most effectively, understanding the strategic direction, vision, values and key processes, and what boundaries exist around each.
This is one of the infamous “tensions to be managed” for any organization and a key responsibility of its leadership team.
This tension is heaped upon a related pressure to attend to external and internal concerns at the same time. Our external audiences want us to meet their expectations more often than not, requiring us to gently set expectations when their nudge becomes a shove. Our internal audiences generally want us to set expectations – to put more boundaries around our work, requiring us to bring them along when change is beneficial.
And there you sit, jostled about, managing all of it.
But wait. There’s more! As leaders, we also tend more naturally toward meeting or setting expectations. Beyond listening to the network, we need to ensure that our own tendency towards people pleasing or controlling does not unduly influence our choices.
No aspect of the tension is right or wrong in exclusion. It’s how we walk this line – and invite everyone to join us there – that fosters a healthy learning organization with growing impact. And, when we stray from that line, we can be certain that something will feel a bit off, organizationally.
High Meeting/High Setting. When we strike a good balance, we are in a process of purposeful evolution. We are listening to the network at the same time we are being clear about the boundaries around the work. We take in new ideas that move us forward but not off course.
Low Meeting/High Setting. When we are clear with our network to the point of giving them the Heisman or wagging a disapproving finger in their collective faces, our work is uninspiring. Uninterrupted, we stagnate with little room for innovation. We become stuck in the box that we built out of ideas and processes that were good once but some of which may have outlived their value.
High Meeting/Low Setting. When we respond to almost every idea – wowed by its sheer brilliance and (more likely) afraid to lose the buy-in or funding of our network – we can end up in a state of strategic confusion. If this imbalance continues too long, we end up in mission creep. And make no mistake, all the people with all of their wonderful ideas will also be there to tell you one day that your mission is unclear.
Low Meeting/Low Setting. If you’re not meeting or setting expectations, you need to start a reset … and fast. Unabated, this leads to the loss of everyone in our network.
Would that our day-to-day conversations lined up nicely on this grid, eh?
Still, leaders across the organization need to meet and set expectations AND with each group that is involved in the work – staff, communities, board, donors, and members. These various groups rarely agree or move at the same pace, so leadership needs to roll all of this meeting and setting up into a sensible and understandable organizational approach.
So, how do you walk that tightrope, strike that yogi’s mountain pose, or rock your balance board without falling over?
How do you make sure the organization doesn’t slam the door shut in the faces of its network or leave the barn door open?
Intentionally Allocate Your Time. The most fundamental way to ensure there is some balance here is to make sure you are allocating your time in a way that promotes balance. Senior leaders – the C-suite – should start by focusing 50% of their time and attention on the outside world and 50% on the inside world (I consider a board of directors to straddle internal and external concerns as they are involved in both). If we are not balancing the time we spend with the members of our network, the balance on meeting and setting expectations is almost sure to be driven by who we spend more time with.
Reflect Weekly. I’m a big fan of ending my week with some reflection on the hits and misses of the past week. Spend five minutes with the grid from this post, think about your interactions from that week, and then place yourself on that grid. If you’re not where you would like to be (and let’s face it, most weeks you won’t be), think about three actions you can take next week to push toward that upper righthand corner.
Cross Pollenate. Everyone in your network does not inherently understand the perspectives of others in the network. Create opportunities to mix and match your network – staff and board; board and community members; community members and donors; donors and staff (the combinations are numerous). Your big idea people need to understand what their big ideas will require in reality. Your pushback crew needs to understand where your approach does not fully serve the needs of the rest of your network.
Raise the Concerns of Those Not in the Room. When you are in the driver’s seat of the conversation, be sure to ask how others might be affected by any move you make. For instance, questions like, “how do you think this will affect our community partners and supporters?” can encourage staff to think outside the important day-to-day processes they use.
Share the Responsibility. Holding this mindset is a leadership obligation – not just the senior leader but the entire leadership team. We need to look up and out – not just down and in – to understand the impact of our work, to understand how we are positioned, to understand how the field is changing, where community need is shifting, and where donors are focusing as we seek the confluence of these views. By holding this expectation of your team, you can encourage this approach throughout the organization.
Make it Personal. This organizational journey also takes place for the leader personally – being clear about who we are – our values and priorities – while also listening intently to how we need to grow. Your personal network and an executive coach can help you maintain a balanced approach by offering insights that come from outside the network.
Leaders at all levels of an organization need to be on the lookout for spaces in the work where it can grow – the areas where they can be flexible, try something new, show that they are listening, and ensure that the organization is a body in motion so that it will stay in motion.
And members of your network deserve to have clear expectations for how to engage with you and also clear opportunities for voicing opinions and supporting the organization in becoming more impactful.
To navigate this balancing act for yourself and your organization, contact me to explore executive coaching, follow my musings on LinkedIn, or check out some of the posts linked at the bottom of this page.
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