I am a huge hater of resolutions and a self-proclaimed fanboy when it comes to goals. Looking
back, I have no resolutions that started on January 1 and lasted but lots of incremental
improvements that came from being clear about what changes I aimed to make and prioritizing
the few that I could handle. Goals are evergreen.
Wait. I can see you are ahead of me. You have all sorts of goals for the year – that new workforce
program, the capital campaign, the board recruitment, the staff morale improvement plan!
Well, I see leadership goals differently, as you might have guessed. Leadership goals are about
establishing how you will go about achieving organizational success, not what you will do to drive that success. I focus here because most of my clients don’t struggle with what they need to do (except for prioritizing everything that flies at them). They struggle with how they will launch that initiative, how they will bring their board along, how they will help staff feel better about the workplace while getting some work done – all while being authentic and consistent.
One other quick bit of context before I get to the topic at hand …
When I write about leadership roles, I don’t mean just executive directors or CEOs. I mean the
entire leadership team – the program, development, human resources, and finance “chiefs.” I
mean those people in their first management role after having been a truly fabulous individual
contributor. I mean the person on the cross functional team or in the department who is in
charge of a project or initiative. I mean the board president, officers, and committee chairs.
There’s a lot of leadership going on all over the place that needs to be cultivated and aligned.
THE CHALLENGE
The balancing act that overwhelms many leaders is present from the moment we agree to be
“that” person – the person that everyone will come to with ideas, feedback, and …well … more
problems then you ever imagined possible. And you’ll want partnership and performance from
them. The two aspects of the relationship are rarely in balance.
Striking a reasonable balance gets more and more challenging as we throw more audiences your way to care for, more influence from the external world (generally of the unexpected variety), and the buck that has to stop somewhere is closing in on you. You start as a juggler with a manageable three balls and then you get thrown more balls, a few bowling pins, and finally a buzz saw or two.
All of this runs parallel to what you are doing in your role. Leadership is the theme that unifies
your strategies, objectives, and tactics. It’s what makes it different to work with you on the same
things someone else might handle differently.
With the hum of all this activity pounding in our ears, we rarely get to stop and ask, “What kind
of leader do I want to be?” That’s why I think the questions need to be ever present – pondered
regularly as we face new challenges and opportunities.
There are some wonderful stock answers that I hear from many clients and colleagues:
I want my team to feel I care about them
I want everyone to think I am fair
I want people to feel heard.
I hear you, but wanting a certain reaction from people is a dicey affair and not really a reasonable outcome:
They may think you don’t care because of that reorg
They think your decision on work from home is totally unfair – like totally.
The annual staff survey, monthly town hall, and weekly staff meeting still leave team members feeling unheard somehow.
So, if a unified reaction isn’t possible, what might you target instead?
Hopefully, it’s a commonly understood definition of how you approach your role. In my work, I
hear teams complain less about what someone did and more about how they went about it.
One of the greatest realizations in my first year as an executive director, which grew from similar
lessons in my prior management roles, is that leadership is not just a human game, it’s a symbolic game.
People reacted to me, often not as Gary, but rather as they reacted to leaders, in general – this
one happening to be some reasonably nice fellow named Gary.
Knowing that we cannot control the reactions of others, we are stuck needing to define this for
ourselves and then surrounding ourselves with the type of people who appreciate and share that
approach to leadership.
SIX QUESTIONS TO PONDER
To set the stage for these six questions, in one sentence, describe your ideal leadership style.
That is the ambition that will help you begin a habit of regular reflection. I will offer up some
ideas on a manageable process you can use right after these questions (don’t get overwhelmed,
OK? You do not need a retreat to work on this.)
What are the core values that guide my decisions and interactions with others?
How did those values show up in my work this week?
In what ways did those values not come shining through? What was the challenge? How might I deal with this type of situation in the future?
What was the most challenging leadership experience I had this week? In what ways am I happy with how I managed it? How might I look to improve the next time something like this happens?
How is my team and organization changing? How might I need to lead differently in this context while remaining true to my values?
How have I received feedback from my team and board? What qualities did I model in those interactions? Are there any changes I would want to make?
A BIT ABOUT PROCESS
All of this can be too daunting if we look for hours to sit in reflection. I found a more iterative
reflection process to be quite helpful.
Look at these questions each Friday (I liked 4:30 p.m. as part of my weekly winddown)
See which ones jump out at you based on the events of your past week.
Jot down a few ideas in response to help hone your approach for the coming week.
Not only is leadership hard to define in concrete terms, it also evolves as your personal and
organizational context changes.
WRAPPING UP
The gap between the type of leader we say we are and how we show up in the heat of the
moment can sometimes be at odds. Leadership is a pursuit of human beings, so it is as messy and inconsistent as we are. So many leaders I know spend inordinate amounts of time beating
themselves up over those moments of misalignment (which I guess is better than saying, “To hell with them!”).
Being clear about what will drive your leadership is so much more important than how others
perceive you. When we lead through periods of great change (which is just about all the time, in
my experience), people’s reactions will vary in ways that are not about you.
Leadership is also an intensely personal journey. Our personal strengths and challenges show up for everyone to see, and the role has a symbolic aspect that makes it hard to separate you, the leader, from you, the person.
Being centered in your values and regularly reflecting on how those did or did not influence your
behavior each week will lay the groundwork for leadership growth stronger organizational
performance.
If you want to think through your leadership in partnership with an executive coach, feel free to
ping me at gary@garybagley.com or schedule a time to connect. For more of my musings on
leadership, nonprofit life, and coaching, subscribe to my LinkedIn Newsletter – Bagley-isms.
Wishing you a wonderful 2025 of going deeper on leadership.
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